Also known as my 6-week PT clinical.

My heart overflows with gratitude for this past week! As part of the graduate PT program, I have been placed at an outpatient orthopedic physical therapy clinic to learn from the PTs and start doing some “real life PT” stuff. You can liken it to an internship or rotation. I have already learned oodles, grown as a PT student, and grown as a person just in this first week.

I have two clinical instructors who are basically my mentors, and both of them are welcoming, open to my input, supportive, and just fun people. They are also fantastic, experienced PTs, and I look forward to learning more from them these next 5 weeks.

The staff at the clinic asked for a fun fact about me during a meeting, and I told them about this blog that I’ve been writing for almost 5(!) years now. So if any of them are reading this, HELLO! You are all great.

My commute (by bus + train) in the morning takes about an hour, and the way back takes about 1.5 hours, which is not ideal but not terrible by any means. Lots of time for prayer and people watching.

I even get a day off during the week! I work four days per week, with some days 7:30-4:30. Other days I work 10-7. That makes my out-of-work schedule a little wonky, but we’re makin’ the best of it. Although, one night I stayed up until almost midnight cooking food when I needed to get up at 5:20 the next morning. I ended up sleeping through my alarm but THANKFULLY, Rachel happened to know when I needed to wake up, AND she woke up at around the same time as me that particular day (she usually wakes up a little later), so she knocked on my door and asked, “Aren’t you supposed to be awake??”

Omg yes, tysm, Jesus and Rachel.

Since I can’t make it to Mass on work days, I’ve been praying in the evenings with the sunset.

one night Kelsey invited me to go with her to adoration and confession

most other nights I’m here

The Lord blessed us with gorgeous weather last week (besides one day of torrential rains that soaked me to my underwear LOL), so these nights were refreshing as heck. This week’s forecast says it will storm almost every day. Still tempted to watch the “sunset” through the clouds though. What’s a little water and electricity, right?? (answer: danger and potentially death, don’t do that, Alison)

Bible study + belated international ice cream day celebration:

Favorite moves and grooves from last week:

Supersets (3x each):

• 12 step ups each leg (25”, 25#) // 40 side jump lunges
• 10 pistols each leg // 20 hamstring ball curls 

12 min EMOM:

• Minute 1: 20 American kettlebell swings (25#)
• Minute 2: 10 box jumps (25”)
• Minute 3: 6 ninja jumps

Favorite song of the week:

Rachel and I went bucket listing on Saturday at The Gallows for their Scotch Egg, which is a soft boiled egg, surrounded by pork sausage and deep fried with panko crust.

’twas perfectly savory and crispy

I hadn’t eaten pork in a while, so my tastebuds were like OOO YES PORK, THE NEW CHICKEN.

We also shared the breakfast skillet, which was phenomenal and everything we needed (i.e. potatoes, cheese, bacon).

Great food, just a little pricey. Cool atmosphere, except the wall looks like a ouija board, which is like, ehhhhhh…..pass.

After brunch, Rachel and I deep cleaned our apartment to prepare for the new tenants (my friends Casey and Zoe!), as well as our own peace of mind. It took us 6-ish hours, but we cleaned, scrubbed, swept, mopped, reorganized 5/6 rooms in the apartment and moved me into a different room.

f l o o r space!!!

I have never been happier living in this apartment without the ten thousand pounds of dust bunnies and grime that have been accumulating. We are hygienic people, but we are also lazy/busy young adults who are not the best at maintaining an already old, grody apartment.

Rachel made us Dark and Stormy’s to celebrate a clean apartment. I am seriously so grateful for this gal for motivating me throughout the day and having such an organized plan of action.

The only really negative thing that happened this week was a random man asking if I wanted to come over and “do something” and commenting on my a$$ on my way to work. I may have definitely cursed at him in my head…but mercy is better.

It’s been a long but beautiful week. Not because anything spectacular happened, but because…

I found my favorite devotional (Come Away My Beloved by Frances J. Roberts) during the move and all the sticky notes that my friend left in it. His sticky notes highlight a lot of wonderful reminders.

Hope you have a lovely week!

So tell me:

Highlights of your week!

How is your commute to work?

Have you ever eaten a Scotch Egg?

Are we now in what people/Florence + the Machine would call the “dog days” of summer?

It’s hot and things are winding down before the start of school again (second year of grad school, baby, here we come!)

It’s been 5 weeks since I posted about life (besides this post), because, like I said before, life has been full. From ab-sore laughing to nearly punching walls out of frustration to crying happy and sad tears on the train, it’s all been very rich and very good overall.

I’ll split up the summer catch-up into a couple posts for everyone’s sake.

The 6-Week Physical Therapy Clinical Experience

I walked out of my 6 weeks working at an outpatient PT clinic b e a m i n g. Not because I was happy to leave but because I was beyond grateful for how much I enjoyed it.

the sunset view from the train station on my last day of clinical

All the staff were incredibly compassionate and encouraging. My clinical instructors were laid back yet competent clinicians and teachers. The patients were welcoming and supportive of me while I treated them.

Usually, something like clinical — where I know I will be evaluated on my knowledge and skill base, ability to communicate, and ability to just be a good person — would make me feel anxious and stressed up the wazoo. But by the grace of God, I stayed pretty calm throughout the whole experience, and I think that helped me to think more clearly and bring my best to the table at each moment. I almost never did anything out of fear for being judged or ridiculed; I was able to speak, ask questions, and perform with a genuinely free heart, and from the feedback I received from my clinical instructors, all of that made for a successful clinical experience.

I made many mistakes and there is always so much room to grow, but I have learned that the two things that make me a good PT student (and hopefully a good doctor of PT one day) are honesty and humility always. This clinical experience has made me fall back in love with the profession of PT, and for that I am pleasantly surprised and grateful.

Odds and Ends

Outside of clinical, I’ve been enjoying lots of food and fellowship.

I think the collage sums it up quite nicely. I’ve eaten many dumplings, seen my friends do many ratchet things (i.e. Sarah spreading dijon mustard on her sandwich using a baby carrot as we waited outside with all her stuff before dorm move-in), and spent a long weekend with nuns. Among other things.

I’ve also been running more!

I, like, kinda enjoy running now?? Sometimes?

This summer catch-up is to be continued… (Spartan Race and Bachelorette party!)

So tell me:

How’s the summer work/job been?

Are you headed back to school (whether yourself or your kids), and how are you feeling about it? 

It is WILD to me that it’s already October. On the one hand, I’ve already made pumpkin mac and cheese this season (which all my friends apparently think is appalling and gross). On the other hand, I don’t really know how to dress for 50°F weather.

I went into this month thinking, “This is going the be a rough month.” Midterms, bittersweet nostalgia, shorter days — meh. But Fr. Barnes, our chaplain at the BU Catholic Center, spoke earlier this week about how wonderful of a month October is, because we celebrate so many “powerhouse” saints — saints who knew how to experience hurt deeply, yet love even more deeply.

Something I find myself doing more often these days is putting my hand over my heart. I place my hand over my heart when someone says something touching; when I feel hurt; when I see or hear something beautiful; when I hear something that I know to be so true, even if if I don’t want it to be true in the moment; when I receive the Eucharist.

It’s kind of a habit now, but I think it started because my emotions have become more visceral this year. But as C H E E S Y as it sounds, I also think I feel closer to God when I place my hand on my heart, because I’ve been meditating on giving my heart completely to Him, whether it is filled with joy, anger, fear, nothing at all, or whether it’s broken. And because, before I can even offer Him my heart, He is the first to knock and seek to dwell within my heart.

LOL this was meant to be a post that took me 5 minutes to write, but thoughts just burst out of my head, so here we are with this more emotional post than I was expecting.

In case you were wondering, I still take selfies like a tourist in Disney World.

I’m goin’ hiking in Maine this weekend and I. am. STOKED. You probably won’t hear about it for another month though, given my recent blogging track record.

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend.

So tell me:

What are you ~feeLiNg~ this October?

What are your plans for the weekend?

I was brainstorming some sort of profound topic that I could blog about, but I feel like there has been a lack of good, light-hearted blogging like the olden golden days of DMAG.

With that being said, let’s share my favorite meal of the day together (sorry if it’s not yours, but I’ve already made this banner)!

…I’d brag about my mixed media masterpiece. By “mixed media”, I mean yogurt, peanut butter, and fruit. #contemporaryart

…I’d tell you that I got a Fitbit for Christmas, and it has motivated me to move more while I’ve been at home. When I’m in Boston, I can easily hit 15K+ steps every day, but usually when I’m home, that number dwindles to maybe 5K per day? It’s really the competitive feature of Fitbit that gives you a run for your money (or the other person’s money who gifted it to you), let me TELL YA. My mom has one as well, and she is definitely pushing me to w o r k.

I’ve been enjoying nice long walks in the neighborhood while praying, as well as dancing around the house to Mom’s international music selection — the epitome of daily moves and grooves.

My mother is dancing around the first floor as we speak.

…I would assure you that the calorie count on Fitbit is the feature that I look at the least. Not because I think I’ll be triggered, but truly because it is the stat I care the least about right now.

…I would tell you that I go back to Boston to start classes next week. I am excited to learn, less excited for the major schedule adjustment that will have to occur (i.e. looking for things TO DO right now ➔ looking for opportunities to NOT be doing anything starting next week), but grateful all the same.

…I would express to you how good it has been hanging out with my family this winter break. They are the bees knees, and I am thankful to be in their presence, whether that involves eating mom’s home-cooked meals, picking up my dad and brother from the train station, watching foodie/travel Youtube videos with my parents, or going to Mass with all of them.

…I would tell you that my obliques are majorly sore from this fun/interesting move from Blogilates. Eeeeeeccentric movement, man.

…I would tell you that these Turbana plantain chips have been my favorite snack this week. Crispy, great flavor, and not too oily. I think my mom got them from TJMaxx for $3, so hit ’em up!

…I would point you to this website that my friends started called The Pilgrim Collective. It’s run by friends who I know from the BU Catholic Center, and here’s the mission statement:

The Pilgrim Collective is a group of people seeking to create beauty and expose each other to beauty. We come from far and wide and all create in many different ways. We’re poets, musicians, cooks, bloggers, dancers, painters, writers, and however the heck else we create (and that’s not counting our day jobs). We’ve all been created good and beautiful and we are all called to be creators ourselves. But far too often we don’t think we’re creative enough so we don’t try or maybe we just don’t take the time out of our busy schedules to cultivate that creative side. But we desire to change that. We desire to create a culture of beauty and creativity; an environment where everyone can feel empowered to be the creators they’ve been created to be.

I just wrote a blog post on it. If you are just looking for uplifting music, heartachingly beautiful poetry and prayers, and thoughtful posts on the faith, check it out!

…I’d tell you that today my friend Abby is coming to explore NYC with me before we head back up to Boston to start another semester of PT school! I can’t wait to eat many desserts and things with her in the city.

…I’d ask you:

What are you eating for breakfast?

Do you have a Fitbit or other activity tracker? What do you like about it?

What is a highlight of your week thus far?

Well well well.

If it isn’t the old BLOGGY BLOG. It pains me to see that I have only blogged twice in 2019 thus far, but I am hoping that will change as I head off to clinical this summer and look forward to a (hopefully…please, Lord) lighter semester in the fall.

I realized that I didn’t do a “things I learned” post after last semester, to which I *GASPED* because it has been a tradition to post one after every semester…

• Freshman I
• Freshman II
• Sophomore I
• Sophomore II
• Junior I
• Junior II
• Senior/Grad School I
• Senior/Grad School II

Talk about a trip down memory lane! Just looking at that long list of blog posts reminds me of the great privilege it has been to have had such a rich college experience — one full of the most wonderful joys and the most aching heartbreaks in every aspect of life. God is good.

Enough sap for now. There will be more sap sometime later in this post, I’m sure.

Here we go — a list of the GREAT and s m a l l things I learned in this second year of DPT school:

1) B’s get DPT degrees, man. Sometimes you just gotta celebrate that B-level grade with all the joy and gratitude in the world and then mmmove on with ya life.

2) I need to get more sleep to be a good human.

3) There is so much grace and beauty in witnessing your best friend enter into the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony *heart eyes x1000*.

[Nicole Ellen Photography]

4) Evidence-based health care practice is possible and very important.

5) The why, how, and when to “crack someone’s back” (read: not for everyone and not super often). This is one tiny aspect of what I learned, in addition to a heck of a lot about treating many neurological conditions and neck/back pain, which involves mostly EXERCISE!

6) I’m a big Khalid fan. Also H.E.R. Just into those R&B vibes, I guess.

7) I am capable of taking lukewarm/cold-ish showers for 90 days straight (it was a fasting thing that happened before Lent and through Lent).

8) I have an endless list of weaknesses that seems to grow by the day, but this has caused me to learn how to lean hard into God’s strength and grace.

9) How to really think, pray, and reason through a relatively big decision, even if others do not approve of the decision I make.

10) Young people living out their faith steadfastly and truthfully can and will be persecuted for it.

11) There are many ways that I as a Catholic need to love others better. Through reflection and prayer, I have actually learned a great deal about how to be a better Catholic from my friends who do not share my faith. God has no limits and continues to humble me as a human being.

12) I COULD run a half marathon if I really wanted to run one. I have NOT yet, but I COULD.

13) My sides have gotten pudgier, but I have learned to embrace them and, honestly, I think I perform better in my workouts having them around ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

14) It is important and good to call my parents more often (love you, mom and dad!).

15) Sometimes, if it’s past 10pm, conversation with friends is more important than studying.

16) “Athleisure” is the way to go, baby (95% of the time). Whether I exercise or not that day. Because studying in jeans is not a comfortable lifestyle.

17) I realized in the last month of school that having a daily goals list is a good idea. Go figure!

18) Studying with friends is very encouraging, motivating, and sometimes it even saves my butt when I’m like, “Wait, I didn’t know she posted lecture that we’re supposed to do on our own…”

19) Talking out loud to myself / a friend to study is helpful and probably my study method of choice. Writing things down is second place.

20) There are plenty of things that I need to constantly reflect upon or let others reflect back to me in order to know how to improve and grow as a person.

21) It’s never too late to ask for forgiveness, and it’s never too late to forgive.

22) Pioneer Woman’s cinnamon rolls are the best cinnamon rolls of all time (thanks to Sarah’s mom and to Zoe for making these and introducing me to such a heavenly treat).

23) How to not take straightforward confrontation/comments personally all the time.

24) I need to work on my spine mobility.

25) Using kitchen scissors to make a “chopped” salad is highly effective.

26) I’m starting to like my overnight oats a leeeeetle more liquid-y than I used to… just 1/4 c. more of milk perhaps.

27) A sense of how to teach and manage an inclusion dance class for children with and without disabilities.

28) I can make it to literally the last pair of underwear / socks before doing laundry, and that takes approximately 2 weeks only HAHA.

29) Talking to trusted, holy people about my inner turmoils and battles is very good and allows for a lot of room for grace to help me emerge from the struggles.

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“He loved his own in the world and he loved them to the end.” John 13:1 Have a blessed Good Friday.

A post shared by Alison (@alison_grooves) on Apr 18, 2019 at 9:17pm PDT

30) Even if I do not have make time to sit down and pray for 20 minutes each day, it is fruitful and good to talk to God throughout the day in between everything that is happening. It’s like texting/calling your best friend to keep them updated on every last detail

31) The people who have journeyed with me during my time in Boston are some of the most precious gifts I have received these last 5 years.

32) I have to start thinking about real-life things like jobs and ~the future~ in less than one year, even though I still feel like I’m just in school for the rest of my life. AGH!!!

33) I missed blogging. ︎ It was kinda hard getting the wheels turning, but here we are.

One more year of grad school to go, and I am both terrified and stoked. It’s been a trip so far, but I’m grateful for each day of the journey.

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gifts from God. thank you for loving me and keeping me afloat always, friendos ︎ DPT year two was a TRIP. #jejajal #dptschool

A post shared by Alison (@alison_grooves) on May 8, 2019 at 3:52pm PDT

Thanks for tuning in, friends! I hope you are having a great May so far. We are almost halfway through 2019 — w-h-ho-hooaaaa. Why is it still < 50° outside right now though!?!?

Have a great week!

So tell me:

How has 2019 been for you?

What are some of the great and small lessons you’ve learned so far?

College/Grad school students: what’s new!? How was this year?

What is everyone doing for the summer? I have a 12-week clinical at a hospital kinda far from home, which will be an adventure, I’m sure!

Greetings!

Long time, no vlog. Not gonna lie, I filmed this vlog almost a month ago, and somehow I had not gotten around to editing and publishing it until today. However, a day off still looks quite like this one anyway.

Enjoy!

So tell me:

Do you like runny egg yolks?

What is your favorite meat marinade?

What are you grateful for today?

One of my very favorite places to do life!

Since we last chatted (about the great and small things I learned in STL), I have visited family at home, gone camping, gone back home, moved apartments, and started my third and LAST year of PT school!

I feel like I’ve been in school forever, but here I am in my last semester of school forever (please, Lord).

In all honesty, I have felt very few emotions about a lot of things. Maybe it’s because I’ve run this gamut a few times already.

School? Grateful and happy to be back. Excited or nervous? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Eh. It’s a light semester of classes with a crap ton of self-directed research/work time in between, which is nice but also dangerously deceiving and deceptively difficult. “Oh, so you mean I need to motivate MYSELF for the WHOLE 12 hours that I’m not in class today?…….God help me.”

The future/my career? I have not a darn clue in the world what will be happening in these next 12 months of my life. I know that I will be in Boston for my next two clinicals (woohoo!), but otherwise, that’s about it. The rest, we throw to the wind of the Holy Spirit. I am neither worried nor sad nor stoked about anything. I’m at peace with the unknown though. Just trying to trust the process and go through the motions with an open heart.

The changes in my friends’ lives? Well, two of my best friends got married, and for that I was overwhelmingly excited and joyful The sacrament, the celebration, the reunion with so many beautiful people — such a blessing. I must say, there is no party like a party with people who know Love and Joy Himself. Congratulations, Ben and Casey!

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two of my favorite people on the planet just became one flesh how ‘BOUT THAT!?!? I love you both more than words can describe. Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Castro!!! Thank God for the sacrament of marriage.

A post shared by Alison (@alison_grooves) on Aug 31, 2019 at 1:21pm PDT

Friends are also having babies now, and that’s when I’m like, “I need a second.” *breathes heavily*

But I love Boston, and I am incredibly grateful to be back for at least another year. The Lord is kind and merciful.

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New Hampshire with friends for the weekend lakes, rainy tents, foggy tree lines, and nature’s stair master workout. also SONIC!!!

A post shared by Alison (@alison_grooves) on Aug 18, 2019 at 5:26pm PDT

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field trip!! coolest part was hearing @the_johnle geek out about the wonders of sea life the whole time hehe #neaq

A post shared by Alison (@alison_grooves) on Aug 20, 2019 at 2:14pm PDT

I would be remiss if I did not acknowledge my 6 year blogging anniversary! The exact date of which I am not entirely sure… early August. Maybe it was the 3rd.

In honor of 6 years of blogging, for my entertainment and potentially yours, here is a blast from the past — a random blog post from each year that I’ve blogged.

2013: “I Like Burpees“ (You know it.)

2014: “Boston University is Making Things Complicated” (This was when I visited BU for open house and fell in love with it. UGH what a little human I was.)

2015: “I Should Be Embarrassed About These Things…” (OMG UNDERGRAD LIFE *CRIES*)

2016: “48 Hours Unplugged” (An incredible two days in the middle-of-nowhere-NY with Fiona and Rachel that we will never ever forget.)

2017: “Greater Love” (BU Catholic Center retreats are a highlight of my life.)

2018: “October” (Despite, or perhaps lending to, the simple name, this was a time of deep emotion for me.)

2019: “Never A Dull Moment” (And I think this blog testifies to that.)

As I look through all of these blog posts, I notice:

• Alison went from squirrelly young lass to emotionless city girl (lol jk…kinda).
• I went from blogging ~almost~ every day to blogging ~almost~ monthly.
• I have grown physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually in ways that I could not have tried to do myself.
• Selfies never seem to go out of style for me.
• The list of things that truly matter never changes.
• God’s hand has been in all of it, without a doubt.

Thank you, as always, to every single one of you who takes time out of your busy days to read my words, laugh/cry with me, and reflect on the goodness/hardness/”what!?”-ness of life with me. I very am grateful for you and for the ways this blog has brought me closer to people.

So tell me:

What’s on deck for you for the rest of 2019? School? New job? Same job? New life events?

Share your current emotions! If ya want…That’s kinda personal though, so up to you.

Also known as my 11th (and hopefully final) semester of classes at Boston University!

I feel like it was just yesterday that I filmed my St. Louis day in the life vlog, but this seems to be the most efficient way for me to share my life with you these days.

That being said, I filmed this vlog a month ago and am now just getting it to you. Whoops. This video still shows a pretty typical day though!

Here is the link if that embedded video isn’t showing up.

I still love reading / watching day in the life posts, so I’m hoping you do too Enjoy and have a great Columbus day if you have a day off here in America!

So tell me:

What have your days looked like recently?

Have you ever injured yourself before a big race / sporting event?

Do you ever eat hodgepodge meals?

Moves. The gift of movement is something for which I feel more grateful with each passing day. From the times when I don’t have the opportunity to work out to seeing the ways in which my patients struggle with movement, I see each step and workout as a blessed thing. Since it has been quite a few days since my last post, I will highlight only a few of my favorite workouts from this past week.

Last Thursday: Yoga online

Last Friday: Outdoor play time + rock climbing with Janice and a couple more friends!

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enjoying the balmy 40 degree weather in the top half of my work attire #justmove . . 4x8 kneel to box jump 4x16 double to single leg box jump 3x10 decline in and out push-ups 3x3 pull-ups (workin on it!)

A post shared by Alison (@alison_grooves) on Jan 31, 2020 at 12:07pm PST

Saturday: Lower body

• Squats (warmup ➔ 1×8 at 135# ➔ 1×5 at 155# ➔ 3×3 at 165# ➔ 4×4 at 155#)
• 3 rounds: 12 KBS + concentric to eccentric deadlift to squat jump x10

Monday: HIIT workout (30 sec work/30 sec rest x 4 rounds)

• Dumbbell burpee to push press
• Bent over dumbbell rows
• Bear crawl plank to kick through
• Wall balls
• Plank jack climbers / crossing mountain climbers

Yesterday: Upper body

• Pull-up practice with and without band // 15 second flexed arm hangs
• 8 devil presses + 10-12 dumbbell chest press on ball
• Wall walks focusing on weight shifting in handstand position
• 10 TRX rows + 6-8 dips
• 12 scorpion ball planks / 8 ball pike to pushup + 40 double unders

10 hours. That’s how much sleep I got last night because I have been terrible at getting at least 7 hours of sleep for the past couple weeks months. I went to sleep at 8pm like a baby, and oh how I wish I could do that every night.

Chipotle rice. Last Saturday a few friends and I helped out another friend with her high school retreat at the church where she is a youth minister. Most importantly, the theme was forgiveness, and it was beautiful to see so many high schoolers respond to God’s Mercy that night. Second most importantly, I discovered how much I really love Chipotle’s lime cilantro rice. I know it’s old news at this point, but DANG that is some buttery flavorful goodness. I took home some leftovers and enjoyed every last bite of it this week.

Brunch and generosity. Also last weekend, I grabbed brunch at Cafe Landwer with my friend Sabrina, and it was just lovely. I had shakshuka with halloumi cheese and the best bread. She had a breakfast platter that included tastes of lots of little dishes. We both didn’t know each other very well before the brunch, but we ended hoping to catch up again soon.

What struck me was her generosity in treating me to brunch (and an Uber from one crowded brunch place to another). She is a young, relatively new grad who could probably be frugal like the rest of us, but she realized her position of having a job and my position of still being a student with zero income, and she without a question treated me to brunch. It’s small and logical, but I felt that the gesture was filled with so much love and consideration. Thank you, Sabrina!

Four things. It’s been a busy but good week at clinical, but the current and impending challenges of becoming the best new grad PT I can be is a little daunting. Since my first clinical in summer of 2018, I have prayed for two things: honesty and humility. I wanted to be very honest in what I knew and did not know, in what I needed from my clinical instructor, and in who I was as a clinician and a person. All while being humble in accepting criticism and in failing at times.

Since the start of this third clinical, I have prayed for an additional two graces: clarity and competence. As I am approaching my doctorate, it’s not just about passing to the next step of my education; it’s about exceeding expectations to give my patients the very best care possible. I know I need to be clear and intentional about what I do for treatment and why, and it needs to be backed by solid evidence and clinical reasoning.

Honesty, humility, clarity, and competence. My H’s and C’s. It all seems obvious, but they don’t come easily all the time, so I pray for them.

So tell me:

What was your favorite workout this past week?

Do you like Chipotle rice?

What is a kind gesture that stood out to you this week?

Do you have a daily prayer / mantra to get you through the work week?

It’s SWEATING SEASON.

Boston is finally starting to heat up and I am looooooving it. As if I don’t go through laundry quickly enough, I am wearing multiple outfits a day now to accommodate my perpetual sweatiness. Actually, I am perpetually sweaty no matter what season it is, but now it’s profuse perpetual sweatiness.

Not that you care.

Someone on Instagram asked me last week to talk about my fitness journey a little bit, to which I agreed. I have talked about it a few times here on the blog, but I am always happy to share my story (which is ever evolving anyway) with any new friends (hi!).

For those who are returning readers (ily) familiar with my fitness journey, perhaps you can appreciate this post’s current perspective, which is in light of “summer body” season.

I made a little collage comparing pre-college and graduate school Alison. This will serve as a bit of context for the rest of my story.

D i s c l a i m e r: Please understand that every BODY is so uniquely different. There are some of you who currently look more like “pre-college” Alison who are perfectly healthy (i.e., no disordered thoughts around food or exercise, regular menstrual cycle, happy gal). There are some of you who look more like “grad school” Alison but may struggle with disordered eating and exercise, etc. And then there’s every type of body in between and beyond. Please do your best to know thyself. ︎

I won’t dive too deeply into how my fitness journey started, because I recently wrote a post about how it started very humbly with a Beyonce dance video and 15 minutes per day on the elliptical. Essentially, I am a naturally lazy person who was motivated to start working out by the will to lose weight in my high school years.

My story follows a relatively common narrative seen in many young women’s lives. She starts having an obsessive eating/exercise disorder because of sports or an innocent (or not) desire to get “toned”/less fat/whatever ➔ she has a deeply cutting revelation of her health state and embarks a long but beautiful push-pull journey of recovering (e.g., needing to take breaks from intense exercise in order to get menstrual cycle back) ➔ sometimes revisits old habits in times of stress and insecurity ➔ overall remains 99.9% recovered.

In no way do I mean to minimize anyone’s unique story, nor my own, but I am simplifying the narrative as a testament to how easy and common it is to fall into the trap of disordered eating and exercise.

(Here is a post about when I felt I truly stopped becoming obsessed with exercise and here is a peek into my undergrad workout routine, which is kind of similar to my routine now, except I am currently more lax.)

In all transparency, I do still go through phases during which I struggle with my body image and wonder if X, Y, or Z will help me feel better about myself. I attribute this to being a human who uses social media. However, fitness has slowly but surely become something that is first and foremost FOR function, mental health, and happiness. It is NOT FOR (or I avoid at all costs to make it for) a certain physique, weight, or “summer body.”

Back to the photo above. I had ripped abs in high school. You could perhaps say I had a nice “summer body.” True, I did a lot of core work, but the main reason my abs were so prominent is that I had very little body fat due to restriction of calories and overexercising.

I was chronically tired and unhappy.

I would like to draw your attention to my wrists in the first photo. I have genetically tiny wrists in the first place, but at that time, even I would think they were on the brink of snapping at some point. I don’t look incredibly unhealthy in the rest of the photo; some would say I look great. I remember people commenting on how fit and strong I looked (again, just because you could SEE my abs). But recalling how skeletal my hands looked, and, above all, recalling how unhappy I felt within, I know now that no external appearance made summer any better for me.

My workouts at that point had to make me want to die or else it wasn’t really worth it. I must admit that I did grow a lot in my general fitness and strength this time, because I pushed myself more than I ever did in my life (remember, I am a naturally lazy person). However, I could only improve to a certain point. There was very little rest and very little fuel to keep me going.

Refer to some of the above posts if you are interested in the interim between pre-college Alison and grad school (current) Alison. It’s been a long journey!

As the photo caption says, I have since gained 40-45 lbs in both fat and muscle (and maybe bone honestly; I was a late bloomer). You can no longer see a 6-pack. Who knows what you can even see; I don’t like posting my midriff on social media now (for modesty reasons, not due to any sort of shame for what my abs do or do not look like).

I am a pear-shaped, lower-body-heavy person who is consequently challenged by any sort of leg raise exercise. People (usually older Asian folks) have commented on how large and bulky I look. I have also gained weight pretty much every single year since I entered college (although my weight is probably at its happy point currently).

However, I am stronger, faster, happier, and healthier than I was in the first two photos, and I genuinely look forward to working out. And this freedom and joy in moving my body is worth so much more than a photo of ripped abs could ever capture.

Regarding my current fitness routine, quarantine has of course made me get creative. But even if the gyms were available, I like to think that my routine and mindset would be the same. 9/10 times I make up my workout the day of, and I frequently modify the workout as I’m doing it, whether it’s too easy or too difficult.

I could not report to you the number of workouts I do every week, because I don’t log them or premeditate the number (although I have been posting some of my workouts on my Instagram story recently to share ideas, so I guess you can check there to approximate).

I have learned a lot from physical therapy school, which helps me to think about different muscle groups and exercises that are for far more than an aesthetic.

I also have come to appreciate intentionality during workouts (thanks to the knowledge of some cool women like Natacha Oceane and Tanya Poppett). In other words, whatever you are doing, do. it. well. If it’s supposed to be explosive, explode for every rep. If it’s supposed to be slow and controlled working every tiny muscle you never knew you had, then do that. If you’re stretching, focus continually on the positioning of your joints. Adjust the reps and time as needed to make it quality > quantity. With this change, every movement session is an opportunity for improvement in fitness (note: not necessarily improvement in physique), because all my brain power is going into something particular, even if it is just the positioning of a stretch, for example.

More intention = better form = better motor patterns = better movement. And get sufficient rest in between! I guess this is how I always wished I approached fitness. If I could give advice to those trying to build up their fitness in a healthy way, this would be it.

So to all the ladies and gents out there tryin’ to get a summer body: I’m not here to tell you to stop your fitness or food regimen to get shredded for the summer. There are plenty of people who can do that happily and healthfully. I will just, as always, implore you to reflect honestly about the motivations, the goal, and how happy and healthy you are in the process.

A practical self-check is asking yourself how much time during the day you spend think about how you can achieve a certain physique goal. I can’t give you a certain percentage of the day, but if it’s “most of the day”, that could indicate the need for re-evaluation of your current habits.

You might not be “one of those people” who can get shredded without compromising mental/physical health. I am here to tell you that I understand the frustration of that deeply, and you are not alone. But the freeing happiness to which you are called is worth more than a “perfect” summer body.

My “summer bod” (whatever that means for 2020) is a short and stocky conglomerate of all the cells that are uniquely me. I’m enjoying fitness right now and I feel rested and well. I hope you feel rested and well, too. Ain’t no time for summer stressing.

(Disclaimer #2: All my recommendations are coming from my own anecdotal experience, as well as from others with whom I have spoken. However, I am not a medical doctor nor an eating disorder specialist. Please speak with other trusted healthcare professionals if you are seeking personalized help. As a resource, my friend Lauren Bickford, RD, aka the Food Fight RD, is a certified intuitive eating counselor.)